Monday, January 27, 2014

Suicide is selfish

Recently an internet mini-celebrity committed suicide, causing quite a commotion among the websites and forums where he was known.

While I, of course, know next to nothing about this person, at least the following are facts: He had a wife and living parents, and quite many friends both offline and online, and deducing from his online activity and his videos, he was quite social (although I don't know how social he had been in the recent past before his death), and his suicide came as a surprise to everybody (or at least his friends; naturally I do not know what went on in his household with his wife and family.)

It's one thing when some highly depressed person, who lives alone and suffers from chronic loneliness and possibly other problems (mental or physical), might be deeply in debts or other problems, may have problems with alcohol or drugs and so on, commits suicide when this person has had enough of an empty life of loneliness and suffering. (This is very sad and unfortunate, of course, but at least it's somewhat understandable.) It's a completely different when a married man with many friends and social activity does this.

Of course depression can hit anybody. Even the most socially active, fortunate and happy person can be hit with depression. It can be triggered by many things, such as work-related stress, marital problems, or just for the simple reason that the human brain is so fragile and random, and can one day simply "decide" to become highly depressed for no apparent outwards reason.

However, and this is my point, no matter how depressed a person is or what the reason for the depression might be, not seeking help and instead opting for suicide is quite selfish. This is of course a very harsh thing to say, but it has to be said. Suicide is especially selfish when the person is married and has family, such as still-living parents. It causes an enormous amount of grief and suffering for family and friends. It often causes depression in them, so by committing suicide the person is just spreading his or her own depression and suffering to others, while seeking the easy way out of it.

It's very understandable to suffer from depression and other mental problems. However, no matter how anguishing your mental state may be, you owe it to your spouse and your family to talk to them and to seek help. Hurting them in the process of seeking a quick and permanent alleviation to your own situation is extremely selfish.

Only extremely rarely are depression problems permanent. They can be surpassed, especially with the help of family and friends. What is more valuable, spending ten or twenty more years with the people you love and who love you, or to just quickly end it, hurting them really badly in the process?

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